Christmas is over... now to the new year

In my last entry, I left off wondering if I was really such a pathetic, worthless creature. And that Christmas wasn't really about goodwill to all man, peace of earth, etc. Rather, the picture I was left with was one of gloom and sorrow, of hopelessness.

Because to me, this Christmas period (and the post-Christmas period too) has indeed been a season clouded with negativity. It wasn't a time of festive cheer or jubilant singing. To add on to that, the huge earthquake which triggered off towering tsunamis only added pain and loss to thousands. Many will be spending their new year ploughing through what's left of their belongings, looking for glimpses of hope where there might be none, grieving over the death of loved ones and wondering how life can go on... All of this brings a gloom to a traditionally "festive" period. Also, one's left humbled at the power of nature, of God's creation, of God's wrath.

Yes, Christmas doesn't begin with joy. It begins with recognising the pitiful state of humanity and knowing that hope doesn't lie in humanity itself. How can Man produce hope when everything in this world is subjetive? Heard of the phrase, "one man's meat is another man's poison"? Subjectivity has left us with grasping thin air, leaving us with nothing concrete, nothing trustworthy.

That's possibly one reason why new year resolutions seldom work. The hope of keeping at these resolutions just fades away with time. So what's left? What's absolute in this world?

Jesus Christ. His power, His righteousness, His love. His Birth, His Death, His Resurrection.

Therefore, in these closing days of 2004, should I look to the future or should I look to the past? Or should I just concentrate on the present? The answer to my questions, I have learnt, lie not in the time frame itself, but on the One who put me through those joys and hardships in those time frames.

So, yes I will look to the future--to the various oppurtunites God has placed in my path to glorify Him. And yes, I will look to the past--only to ask for forgiveness of my stupidity and to pray that I'll learn from them. And yes, I'll look at the present--taking each day at a time, worshiping Him and proclaiming the gospel in speech and in lifestyle.

Come 2005, come. A new year, new challenges but the same faithful God.

Christmas is over...

Christmas is over. What next?

That seems to be the main theme in most of the comics in yesterday's Straits Times. And indeed, this question remains? What next? Continued partying? More drinking? Even more useless resolutions? And besides all of that, there is always the predictable "10/20/50 best ____ of 2004" or "10/20/50 worst _____ of 2004" lists in newspapers and magazines. (fill in the blanks yourself)

That's post-Christmas "traditions" for you.

This year, part of me wishes to put the whole year behind me and just look forward to the future. The other part of me wants to look to history, to think, to reflect... and if left uncontrolled, to wallow in self-pity. I often wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way or whether there are others like me out there?

Am I that pathetic? Hopeless? Worthless? Romans 3:10-18 seems to say so... "[10] There is no one righteous, not even one; [11] there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. [12]All have turned away, they have together become worthless.... [18] There is no fear of God before their eyes." Harsh words. Painful words even... Isn't God a God of Comfort? A God who's supposed to be there for me? I mean, He sent baby Jesus didn't He? He sent Jesus to save ME right? Why does He then tell me that I'm, I'm... worthless?! Worse still, in that passage of Romans, He says that out of my lips comes the poison of vipers! What?!

This isn't what Christmas/post-Christmast is about! ....... Or is it?

God's world, God's work, God's way, God's Word

It's been a long time... Kinda miss the screen that's facing me now; the white space inviting me to pen my thoughts to share with the world. To share about how, despite my terrible sins and worthlessness, God still loves me. His judgement comes upon me only because He wants what's best for me. And behind the judgement and discipline comes the heart of a Father wanting to redeem this lost child of his... me.

I'm reminded of why I chose "Humbled Servant Adopted" as my Blog Title. Read the top of the page...

After my GB camp (26/11-29/11) came Church camp (6/12-9/12). After Church camp came NTU/NIE CF camp (13/12-16/12). And after all that, I'm now focusing on the Christmas Service (just 3 days away) in my church.

After everything, I must say that life has changed. Many things learnt and apart from bible lessons, I'm still learning about love... What is godly love? How do I love others? Why can't I love? The love of God... The more I think about the extent of God's love for me, the more I realise how wretched a person I am. Yes, wretched... I'm beginning to understand why John Newton used this word to describe himself in his wonderful hymn, "Amazing Grace".

I know this blog seems a tad bit negative, if you take into account that this is the "festive, tralala period" of Christmas (or as the World calls it, X'mas... I hate it when they use that). But hey, this December period so far has been filled with pain, tears, anger, joy and laughter for me. As you can see, I've experienced a myriad of emotions and I pray that at the end of it all, I'll learn the lessons God wants me to learn.

So what can I share after all of my chatter above? Just an adapted quote from Pastor Chris Chia with regards to the purpose of Man, the reason for Man's existence:

"We've all been placed in GOD's world, to do GOD's work, GOD's way; drawing guidance from GOD's Word"

Blessed Christmas everyone :)

Back

Got home the day before... boy was the trip physically tiring...

The night hikes and stream trotting experiences were challenging to the girls. Therefore, part of my job was to move up and down the line of 40 girls helping them get over obstacles, come down steep and wet slopes without falling, etc. However, I have to say it was kinda fun. Kinda.

Thank God that Ps 23 went well. It was a different experience teaching about the Bible in front of non-Christians as well. Keeping Christian jargon out of what I was saying was a challenge. However, I think my first experience of "preaching" was not too bad. Psalm 23 ministered to me as well, though I must say that to use this Psalm to pray and to mean it with all my heart... that's a tough one.

Oh well, now, I pray for wisdom as I guide some of the youth leaders going up for next week's church camp to investigate the Book of 1 Jn and to uncover the treasures it holds.