Tuesday, April 19, 2005

A shroud of loneliness and despair envelope my senses.
My God and Lord, why does Thou seem so far away?
Why does Thy Word not refresh?
Why so downcast O my soul?

Shadows loom around, they threaten to darken whatever little light that's still glowing.
My hands and feet hurt from chains that bind me. Chains that seem destined to bind me for life.
The burden on my back grows heavier and heavier--sadly, it doesn't seem to be cross-shaped.

What little strength I have ebbs away...

Someone once said I was an extremely emotional person. Too emotional. Another said I'm a person alive with passion. Whatever the case, the zest for life, for living, for running this race wanes... I end up going through the motions, the systems set out before me. Keeping busy for the sake of it. The crop of genuine smiles grows thin. Enthusiasm's boosted by the need for it, not something that stems from joy.

The Cross, the mighty Cross... I have disappointed my Lord.

This blog was an area where I hope I could encourage others. It was an area where my honest feelings and lessons learnt was shared. Now, as I know little of how to encourage... entries will cease to exist...

13 comments:

sernkhoon said...

What happened, brother?

clare said...

hullo adrian!
oh dear i loved reading! i hope you're feeling ok. =( God bless!

-claris!

Unknown said...

Yeah, what happened?

Anonymous said...

Hey, relak la bro! Dun try to be perfect..itz not emotions that drive our faith, itz God Himself..Juz remember that the main aim of doing God's work is God himself..we're not pleasing others,ya? :) God does not want u to add extra pressure to urself by trying to live up to other ppl's expectations, just abide in Him and draw on His strength in all circumstances..will be praying for ya! - Simon

Anonymous said...

hey adrian
firstly, your blog has been encouraging.
secondly, this is a trial of faith, perhaps the hardest you've faced yet. but im glad of it, for you. i believe you will emerge and emerge stronger.
back to basics, brother. stop with all the head knowledge and return to simply being a child by His feet.
your ministry doesnt have to be perfect, by the way. you're still learning. so dont overpressurise yourself
will pray for you.

"He restores my soul" -Psalm 23:3a

in His love + mine,nat

ShepherdKing said...

Christ in U is the hope of glory, rest & the Lord will carry u thru'. Abba father loves u bro!

ShepherdKing said...

Christ in U is the hope of glory, rest & the Lord will carry u thru'. Abba father loves u bro!

Anonymous said...

The hope of Christ in U shall carry u thru'. Abba father loves u bro!

Mskmouse said...

Press on brother! Will continue to pray for you. May 1 Peter encourage you. Though we may suffer trials and grief in this world, may we continue to place our trust in Christ, who will restore us in time to come!

clarini said...

cheer up adrian! you're not alone in all these yars?!

(a) you have God and HE IS ever near.

(b) you still have us!

smile big big kay? pour out ur sorrows for HE cares for u.. dont let the devil deceive you =D the truth sets u free!!!

Anonymous said...

smile =))

Anonymous said...

Hello there
Hope ya feeling better
Care to be my roomie again for Project Timothy??

Anonymous said...

The problem wif u is.. U keep looking at 'self'. STOP relying on your flesh as U'll tend to feel tat u have to perform. Focus on the Him. He is your everything!