sub specie aeternitatis (in the light of eternity)

I would like to use this entry to summarise the past months.

I was hurt badly. Not a physical hurt but a deep emotional and somewhat spiritual hurt.

On hindsight, it has been a rocky road... a very rocky road. But I know that ultimately, that's what God wanted for me. He knows me infinitely well to know that only a path of emotional turmoil and hardship would wake me up from my slumber. I'm NOT on the road to recovery. Nope. It would be more accurate in saying that I'm on the road of maturity. My experiences have opened my eyes to the ways of this world and to the ways of God. Not that I know a lot more, but that I've grown. And not that I've grown in mere intellectual knowledge, but that I've grown as person--a sinner saved by grace. And I've experienced it all firsthand, and thus am able to assist a fellow brother or sister who might fall into a similar situation.

I disagree with the phrase "Time heals all wounds". For to me, time merely covers them up. I had to learn this the hard way too. There were too many days where the solution to dispelling thoughts and actions was to merely distract myself with other less personal, less soul-piercing thoughts. But that's not healing. And though my ignorant mind understood this, my foolish heart still managed to tangle itself with these... complications. Healing, I learnt, also didn't involve pouring out your feelings and thoughts to others. Not that that wasn't helpful, but I first approached it with a wrong focus. I poured out these feelings and thoughts in the hope of releasing "psychological & emotional stress". Yeah, I know... that sounded so stupid and silly. But God knew that for me to truely learn, I had to take the high and bumpy road. Certain lessons in life are best learnt by living it rather than by being taught it. And I've finally learnt some of these lessons, with both my mind and my heart, as to what healing is about.

Healing begins with surrender. Surrender to the infinite God... Surrender begins with the realisation that its NOT about us finding/searching/looking for our purpose in life...

Surrender begins with discovering who God is.

It then continues with aligning oneself to God, to Christ, to the gospel.

It's not as easy as it sounds, for we're all still imperfect, striving to be Christ-like. Even now, I still feel the pain from the past. But this pain now acts as a reminder of what I've learnt, a reminder of things things I've experienced, a reminder of God's grace to me. And I'm profoundly grateful to Him for that.

I was once again reminded of a proper focus in life when I was studying 1 Cor 9 for Bible Study last Saturday. I end of with a quote from the 1 Corinthians portion of the "Bible Speaks Today" Commentary series... in the hope that we might learn from Paul's example, "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ" (1 Cor 11:1):

"He(Paul) was living his daily life sub specie aeternitatis (ie. in the light of eternity), and that meant:

evangelism with integrity,
relationships with adaptability, and
personal holiness with single-mindedness."

sub specie aeternitatis